Chris Petersen has tagged me with the book meme that is currently doing the rounds. Here goes:

1. One book that changed your life:

Probably The Crucified God by Jürgen Moltmann. It made me realise how theology could be both profoundly fascinating and spiritually invigorating at the same time. Jesus and the Victory of God did the same in the area of biblical studies.

2. One book you've read more than once:

The Orthodox Way by Kallistos Ware. Thanks to the person who bought this book from Amazon after clicking on the ad in my sidebar, you have made me 78p richer

3. One book you'd want on a desert island:

Probably a survival guide or something like that. Also possibly the Left Behind series, for use as fuel and toilet paper.

4. A book that made you laugh:

Puckoon by Spike Milligan, or maybe Ecclesiastes.

5. A book that made you cry:

Night by Elie Wiesel

6. A book I wish I'd written:

Harry Potter and the Space Time Continuum: Harry, J K Rowling, and all his friends are sucked into a black hole and never heard of again.

7. A book I wish had never been written:

Wow, so many to choose from...anything to do with End Times rapture biblical prophecy currently being fulfilled in the Middle East gibberish. Also anything to do with how God will enable me to become rich and prosperous in just 5 easy steps.

8. A book I am currently reading:

Never A Stranger by Brother Emile of Taize

9. A book I've been meaning to read:

Pilgrim's Progress. I've started it several times but it just bores me rigid for some reason.

10. A book I wish had been written:

What I Really Said, And Why You're All Wrong by St. Paul or maybe an autobiography of Jesus.

I hereby tag: Richard, Kyle, Ben, John, and Sam

My new job involves recruiting and interviewing people to work in the customer service department of a very well known bank/insurance company. Mostly this involves interviewing candidates and then processing their applications if they're successful. Here are some answers that some unsuccessful candidates gave at interview last week:

Me: This question is really just for statistical purposes - but how would you describe your ethnic origin?

Candidate: Pffff. I don't know - normal?

Me: So how would you describe you ethnic origin?

Candidate: How would I describe my ethics? Pfff. That's a big question. Um. I did philosophy A-level if that helps? 

Me: So what steps do you take to keep yourself motivated in your job?

Candidate: Well to be honest I don't think that motivating myself is my responsibility.

Me: What are the key skills that you possess that you think make you a good customer service representative?

Candidate: Well - this might sound arrogant - but I'm a really likeable guy.

Me: Could you unpack that a bit?

Candidate: People just really like me. It's just the way I am. Everyone that knows me thinks I'm just a really great guy.

This was my favourite - this guy failed before he even so much as filled in an application form:

Phone rings:

Me: Hello [my company], how can I help you?

Pleb: Yo you got any of them jobs innit?

Me: I'm sorry?

Pleb: Am looking for a job innit.

Me: I see. Wherabouts do you live?

Pleb: Rochdale. (Rochdale is about 3 miles from Manchester)

Me: Well we have plenty of vacancies in Manchester.

Pleb: Which Manchester?

Me: Err...Manchester as in Greater Manchester, where you live.

Pleb: 'Spose innit.

Me: Would you like to apply for one of the positions there?

Pleb: Whereabouts is the office I'd have to work at?

Me: It's right opposite Victoria Station.

Pleb: So if I got the train to Victoria Station, could I get a taxi to work?

Me: Well no, not really. The office is literally just across the street from the station.

Pleb: So could I get a taxi to work from the station?

Me: Well in all honesty no taxi drivers would pick you up. It's literally just a question of crossing the street.

Pause.

Pleb: So if I was walking from the station, how would I get to the office?

Me: Just walk across the street, it's the massive tall building opposite the station. You really can't miss it.

Pleb: Hmm.

Pause

Pleb: How many GCSEs will I need?

Me: Technically none, we're just looking for experience more than qualifications. There is a short maths test at the interview though.

Pleb: Will there be any questions on percentages?

Me: Yes. You'll also need to pass a credit check.

Pleb: Why? Am I going to be dealing with money and all that s***?

Me: Errr...you do know that you're applying to work in a bank don't you?

Pleb: 'Spose.

Pleb hangs up.